Just a few blocks away, another 8^th grader was shadowing several high schools. After the first visit, his mother asked him what he thought about the school, to which the boy quickly replied, “it was great and I think it’s my first choice!” A bit surprised, yet encouraged by her son’s enthusiastic and decisive answer, the mother inquired as to why. “They had a really good lunch,” the boy replied.

Both of the mothers experienced the same feelings of disappointment and frustration. They knew that deciding where to go to high school was an important decision. How, they wondered, could their children approach it with such a lack of maturity and sophistication? Didn’t they understand the importance of the decision and the ramifications it would have on their future?

Then they remembered an important fact: their children were just that – children.

Thirteen year-olds should not be expected to demonstrate the same level of critical thinking and good judgment as adults. And that is why 13 year-old shouldn’t be deciding where to go to high school.

Over the years, I’ve heard people talking about the high school selection process and how they were simply going to let their child decide. I remember being surprised that parents would give their children so much control over such an important decision but figured they had good, smart, responsible kids and that I simply didn’t understand how it all worked since my daughter was much younger.

Fast forward several years and now we are in the process of selecting a high school…and I can’t imagine letting my daughter decide. She is good and smart and responsible and she absolutely will be part of the decision. Our daughter is fully participating in the process. She has done research on school websites, talked to friends, and visited/shadowed several schools. She is getting information and forming opinions. We very much want to hear her thoughts and opinions and we will seriously consider her input and preferences. However, we will not abdicate the decision, and in so doing, abdicate our responsibility as parents.

Kids need parents to help them navigate through life and I believe that parents do know best when it comes to their kids. School colors and hot lunches certainly can be considered in the high school decision process but they shouldn’t be the driving factors.

That said, some of the views I have heard from different parents may help you more productively mull the choice between public and private schools.

Some Pro-Public Perspectives

• “Give the public school system a chance first. If it doesn’t work out, you can always switch to a private school.” – The second sentence is true. Luckily it’s true about any school decision you make. As hard as it is to switch schools, if you need to do it, you can. And we don’t have crystal balls to predict that in advance.
• “You could take what you’d spend on private school tuition and get a mountain house instead.” – Ok. Some private schools cost so much money. If we sent all three of our kids to certain private schools nearby, that would be $70,000 per year.
• “Don’t worry about it until high school – that’s when school really matters.” Huh? So many people (including my own husband) brought up this point during our school search. I guess you could say that college is the most important stage of education for your career and general success in life. So it makes sense that since high school performance most directly impacts what type of college you’ll get into, high school the most important stage of education. But you could also argue that the earlier the influence on a child, the more deeply it’s ingrained. Our brains calcify a little more every second once they’re formed, so it might be more important to foster good intellectual habits in first grade than 12th.

Some Pro-Private Perspectives

• “What’s more important to spend your money on than your kids’ education?” -  I try to buy organic, whole-grain, local food. We bought a warm house in a pretty nice neighborhood. Shouldn’t I invest in my kids’ education too? The assumption there is that tuition-based education is better than public school. Which again, depends on where you live, and on your values and life experiences.
• “Private schools have better physical security” – I had one friend who told me that she slept better at night because her kids’ private school has a wall around it. For a minute this made me feel terrible for sending my kids to a moat-less public school. The word “Newtown” makes my chest hurt like anyone else. But one of the hardest—and most necessary—things about parenthood for me is to let my kids out into the dangerous world and trust that they’ll be ok.
• “There’s diversity because of the scholarship program” – Fair. Many if not all private schools I researched in Denver during our search had clear messaging about how hard they worked to make their schools inclusive for families who couldn’t afford the tuition. But it helps to look at the statistics. If 5% of the kids there were on scholarship, how much do they influence a school’s climate of cultural and socioeconomic diversity? On the other hand, the private Catholic college I attended had half its students on some aid or scholarship plan. At first blush, it seemed like a preppy rich kid school. But I met many working class friends there whose parents had to scrape by to get them there.

Megan Freedman is a freelance writer and researcher, with a special focus on medical and wellness topics. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband and three children.

Sky View Academy kids dancing

School choice supporters from across the Centennial State converged on the west steps of the Colorado Capitol for a history-making rally and celebration on Monday, January 26, 2015 at 9 am. The message of the event: school choice is working for Colorado families.

Colorado Senate Education Committee Chairman Owen Hill (R) and State Senator Mike Johnston (D) spoke at the event and students from the Excel Institute performed.

The event, which brought together education advocates of all ideologies and backgrounds, put a positive spotlight on the success of Colorado’s broad portfolio of education options for families, which include traditional public schools, public charter schools, public magnet schools, online academies, private schools, and homeschooling.

Senator Michael Johnston at the School Choice Rally

Senator Owen Hill at the School Choice Rally

In addition, students, parents, and teachers shared their personal school choice stories. The event coincides with National School Choice Week (January 25-31, 2015).

Excel Academy Dance

“Colorado has been a leader in school choice, but it is crucial that we expand the number of educational opportunities available,” said Pam Benigno, Director of the Independence Institute’s Education Policy Center. “As a state, we have not kept up with the demand for choice— especially for the kids who need options the most.”

“Children are 10% of our population and 100% of our future,” said Deborah Hendrix of Parents Challenge. “Choice in education is paramount for our country’s success.”

“As a business community, we are working to make Colorado the best place in the world to raise a child and grow a business,” said Scott Laband, President of Colorado Succeeds. “We know that education is central to that effort, as is access to high quality school choices. Everything we do is focused on making sure our state provides all children in Colorado with world-class educational experiences.”

Be Intentional:  You and your child should have several things in mind as you visit a school.  Don’t simply let the experience wash over you but be thoughtful and deliberate about the things you want to see, hear, and experience.

Be Inquisitive:  Don’t be afraid to ask questions – both factual and otherwise. You want basic information, but it is also good to get opinions from teachers and students. And don’t make assumptions; this is your chance to learn so much more than a website or marketing materials can convey.

Be Open:  Visit with an open mind, free of pre-conceived perceptions.  If you go expecting or looking for certain things, you likely will miss out on some valuable insights. And, sometimes you might even be pleasantly surprised to learn things weren’t at all what you thought.

Each visit is – and should be – unique but here are a few things to keep in mind:

Physical facility:  is it a place you would want to spend the majority of your time?  Just like a work environment, our kids spend a great deal of their days at school.  It doesn’t need to be fancy but is it bright and welcoming?  Is it clean and well-maintained?  Is school spirit visible?

….and is there a gymnasium and does it look well-equipped?  A cafeteria that supports healthy food options? Are there outdoor areas for recreation or quiet studying?  Is the library updated and is technology incorporated?  A stage/theatre?  Dark room? Art room? Science Lab?  These may be important resources, depending on your child’s interests,

Students:  what are the kids doing?  How are they interacting with each other?  Does there seem to be a sense of camaraderie among the students?  Are they laughing and smiling in the hallways and common spaces?  Do they generally look happy and engaged?

…and do they participate in class?  How?  Do they show respect for their teachers and each other?  Do they appear curious and interested or do they look bored to death? Hint: you can tell a lot simply from body language.

Teachers:  how do they interact with students?  Are they supportive and empowering?  Would you be afraid to ask questions or would you be encouraged to speak up and participate?  Is there a sense of mutual respect? Is there good rapport between them and the students?

…and are they articulate and knowledgeable? Do they seem passionate? Can you envision them igniting interest and curiosity in your child?  Are they people you want your child to look up to and emulate?  Are they good role models?

Curriculum: students learn in different ways so be sure to understand the model and how it is presented.  Is it a structured or more informal approach?  Is there a particular lens through which material is presented, i.e. a global or artistic perspective?  Regardless of your child’s particular interests, is it important to have PE every day?  How about art or foreign language?

Extra-curricular:  What types of clubs, sports and affinity groups are available?  Can students initiate efforts related to their own interests? Listen for examples of how widely accessible these opportunities are and whether students are taking advantage of them. Hint: you can find clues looking around the building for meeting notices, events and activity sign-ups.

Approaching your visit with some deliberative thought will prove beneficial for both you and your child.  However, while it is important to be prepared, you shouldn’t get too focused on specific things.  Be sure to experience the school during your visit – get its vibe – and try to picture your child being a part of it.

Using these easy tips and keeping in mind these few things will ensure that your shadow experience will be productive and meaningful. And, it will allow you and your child to make an informed decision that is right for both of you.

If completing the choice form is a little fraught for you (like it was for me), pull up a seat. Let’s calm your nerves—or at least set your expectations.

1) Don’t get too attached.

Certain public schools have few spots for non-siblings or non-neighborhood kids, or they’re just small schools. And it can seem like hardly anyone gets into them. This includes neighborhood, charter, and innovation schools. Just know when you fill out your form, that some schools aren’t likely to have a spot for your son or daughter. But as I’ve said before—you can’t win if you don’t play. If you absolutely love a school, throw it on your form. Then try to forget about it so you’re not too disappointed if it doesn’t work out. On the other hand…

2) Be careful what you wish for.

My kids didn’t get spots at any of our “reach” DPS schools, nor did most of my friends’ kids. However, I did know someone whose daughter got a spot at a tiny and very highly-regarded charter school. When she got her choice result letter, my friend said “we only put x school on our form because we didn’t think we’d get in. Maybe we should have gone to the neighborhood school with everyone else.” Turns out her daughter’s thriving where she landed. Just know you could be the one to win the lottery.  And make sure you’d be truly happy to go to any of the schools you put on your list.

3) Don’t give up hope.

After you submit your choice form, the next step in the school enrollment process is for you to get a letter back in early March with your allocated “round 1” spot. If your child doesn’t get a spot at your top choice school at that point, there’s still plenty of time for that to change. I heard of people’s kids getting spots at schools a few days after the March letters were sent out, a few weeks before the start of school, a few days after the start of school, and even a few months into the school year. In a school system as large as Denver’s, there’s constant and significant movement in and out of schools. People move out of their neighborhood or of out of the school district, or get late-breaking spots at private schools, and subsequently open spots for other kids. I’m not saying scurry to the mailbox every day. But don’t be too bummed out if the initial result wasn’t what you were hoping for.

4) Be open to a happy surprise.

I like shiny things. So we put another neighborhood’s well-regarded school and two sought-after charter schools above our neighborhood school on the choice list. And I was a little crushed when we didn’t get into any of those other schools. The good news is that now we love the one we’re with. The community aspect of our neighborhood school has been amazing. On any given day on the playground, I can hang out with one of my old playgroup friends, one of my yoga teachers, one of my husband’s co-workers, and the realtor who sold the house across the street from us. When other moms and I carpooled to a school field trip the other week, it took three minutes to pick everyone up. I can’t swing a cat on a walk through the neighborhood without hitting a friendly face. And our kids are thriving in school. Turns out our last-choice school has benefits we couldn’t have realized until we were enrolled there.

Speaking of yoga teachers, one of mine centered a class around the idea to “hold it lightly.” Embrace what you love but don’t contract carpal tunnel with your clutch on it. With school choice, you may get what you wish for, or you may not, but you may be just as glad either way.

Megan Freedman is a freelance writer and researcher, with a special focus on medical and wellness topics. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband and three children

I found it helpful to keep the tours sorted in a spreadsheet. Here’s mine including school names, addresses, websites, tour dates, admissions deadlines (if applicable) and other pertinent details. After you take the tour, add a few thoughts about your reaction to the school into the spreadsheet while it’s fresh on your mind. After a few tours, you may find it helpful to segment the schools you’ve toured into yeses, no’s, and maybes in terms of whether you’d like to apply/put on your choice form. That can help you select what information you need to retain and what bits you can mentally file in the dusty back of the drawer.

And don’t get too attached to any one school right away. I figured that out long after the fact. It’s natural to have strong feelings about a particular school. The campus, the teachers, or the culture may really appeal to you on a deep level. But our priorities evolved throughout our tour de choice. I fell hard for one school immediately, and spent the rest of the following week trying to convince my husband that we needed to give our kids “the best” and who needs to go to Disneyland when you can go to school X and so on. And then we had our son tested and the testing consultant steered us in a completely different direction, and school X plunked right off the table.

At the end of the day, if I could go back to 2013 and talk to myself before touring schools, I would say—think carefully but open-mindedly about the schools you’d like to tour. Go into each one ready to see what there is to see and feel your feelings about the place. Capture the logistical details (and your reactions) in one place that you can refer back to you later. And then let that information marinate for a bit. You’ll have time to make a rational choice later on about which schools you want to try to get a spot in.

Megan Freedman is a freelance writer and researcher, with a special focus on medical and wellness topics. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband and three children

My daughter starts kindergarten next fall, so I’m working to select the right school for her.

I recently attended an “open house” at our neighborhood school (we’re part of Denver Public Schools). It was fine, but I felt silly: I didn’t get the memo that kids weren’t expected to attend or that “open house” was code for “be on time or you’ll miss being assigned to the right tour group.”

Alas, our tardiness gave us an excuse to hop into a few different parent groups. In each group we invaded, a parent invariably asked:

“Is there a G & T program?”

Up until then, I thought G & T was a beverage served over ice with a lime. Which I began to crave after realizing the other parents knew the lingo. I was behind the curve and wanted to get more background on what this is all about.

So what does G & T (i.e. Gifted and Talented) really mean?

The National Association of Gifted Children define G & T as kids who, “when compared to others his or her age or grade, have an advanced capacity to learn and apply what is learned in one or more subject areas, or in the performing or fine arts.” This advanced capacity requires curriculum modifications to make sure the kids are challenged and learn new material.

Do all public schools have a G & T program? Why are they important?

In Colorado, gifted programs are mandated and partially funded by the state.

It might seem like a G & T kid would do okay in any classroom setting. But G & T kids aren’t stimulated by regular curriculum. A national study conducted by the Fordham Institute found that 73% of teachers agreed that “Too often, the brightest students are bored and under-challenged in school – we’re not giving them a sufficient chance to thrive.”

How does DPS identify G & T kids?

DPS begins assessing children for G & T in 1st grade. However, they also offer Advanced Kindergarten (AK), a curriculum for kids deemed academically advanced. Kids are accepted by application-only, and the program is only offered at select schools.

So do you have to be in AK to get into G & T? I missed the deadline, and because of that I already felt I was failing my daughter, who just began her education. Thank goodness for my friend Jonny, who made me feel much better.

Jonny’s daughter enters kindergarten next year, and he decided not to pursue AK. Why? He’d hoped the AK program would guarantee her a spot at the AK school (which receives higher grades than his neighborhood–or home–school), and that it would have some bearing on her future G & T acceptance. Neither are true. Once she entered 1st grade, she’d need to return to her home school or go through the school choice program. And then be reassessed by G & T.

It was a good enough reason for me to let go of my Bad Mama guilt.

Is Your Child G & T?

I reviewed the literature, and I’ll admit that I suspect my own darling exhibits G & T characteristics. But there’s a huge range of traits. Here are resources I found helpful:

• Characteristics of G & T
• Is my child gifted?

Yet, the only way to know for sure is getting her tested.

It’s DPS policy to screen all students for G & T beginning in 1st grade. The process seems to vary by the school, so DPS suggests contacting the gifted education teacher at your own school. And for anyone who can’t wait that long, there’s an option of getting tested independently.

What happens beyond kindergarten?

There are two programs at DPS — Gifted and Talented and Highly Gifted and Talented. DPS provides a handy-dandy chart outlining the pertinent info.

The website is helpful, but I was curious about how this really works. So I contacted my friend Jeanine, whose daughter is G & T at DPS. She explained that once your school district deems your child G & T eligible, the state mandates that your child receive an Advanced Learning Plan. The plan sets goals and makes accommodations. Jeanine has seen some issues related to consistency of receiving a plan … some years they receive one … some years they do not.

So what’s your best bet as a parent?

Jeanine says, bottom-line: Develop a good relationship with your school’s principal and your child’s teacher. Discuss your concerns about your child’s education, and be prepared to help them identify any special needs your G & T child may have in the classroom.

Last but not least, do all parents think their child is G & T?

Maybe. On some level, it’s likely most parents believe their kids are G & T. I’m no different. Yet the Colorado Association for Gifted and Talented says the G & T kids actually represent only 7.6% of the total K-12 public school population.

Carie Sherman chose freelancing for two reasons: more time at home with her daughter and a passion for stretchy pants. As a copywriter for the health care and education industries, Carie writes content for businesses, agencies, and nonprofits in Colorado and beyond. She blogs for Lupus Colorado and is a contributor to Colorado Parent magazine. She’s also on the copyediting team for the New York Common Core implementation. Carie is currently writing her first fiction novel. In her free time, she enjoys reading, yoga, collecting recipes, and implementing organizational systems that she’ll never follow.

It’s time to look at some schools for your kid! You may already be convinced that you should go on some school tours, and now the question is, which ones? I toured 11 schools, but I could have done well with maybe half as many tours.

Here are few things to consider as you make your list of prospective school tours.

1) Location

Where do you live? And where do you or your co-parent work? Proximity to school doesn’t just matter for daily drop-off and pick-up. You’ll have to go to your child’s school for field trips, book sales, volunteering in the classroom, holiday lunches, picking up someone early because they threw up, etc. My husband and I aren’t particularly big joiners, but we probably make an extra four or five trips to school per month (in addition to pick-up and drop-off). It really helps your life for the drive to and from school to be short and easy. Our drive is five minutes, the walk is about 15, and that works well for us. You might want to take a map, draw a feasible circle of distance around your house, around your/your co-parent’s office, and then look at schools within those circles.

2) Future location

Are you feeling pretty set living and working where you are—or do you plan to change that in the next few years? Think pretty hard about that now. If you’re more than 75% sure that your home or office will move, it could make a big difference in your school commute time. For reasons why this is important, see #1 above.

3)     Public vs. private

Are you interested in just private schools, just public schools, or both? We were open to considering both, and if you are too, take a moment to explore your feelings about paying for education, because tuition is not nothing. Do you feel that you want to give your child the best your money will buy? Do you want to support the public school system and be an engaged parent who will help improve the system? Will you have one, two, three, or more kids who may be going to school at the same time? Do you need to weigh other costs (for example, vacations, ski passes, summer camps) against educational expenses? If you’re not sure (as we weren’t), be sure to tour both private and public schools. What you see and learn there about what they offer and at what cost will give you great perspective.

4) What type of education does your child need?

This was a hard one for us. For our kindergartener, we had very little idea what kind of a learner he was.  There are traditional schools, gifted schools, foreign language ones, religious schools, schools that focus on the environment or “expeditionary learning,” and more. You can pay a consultant to give your child tests and write up how he or she thinks your child learns and what school type will fit best. A few of my friends did that, and it was very influential on their school choice. Delve into the school’s particular flavor and see if it fits with what you know about your child. If a certain type of school really resonates, that’s fantastic—go to see that school. If nothing jumps out at you, your child might do well at many types of schools.  If you’re like me, you may still feel unsure what type of education your kids need. But realize that you may not know for sure until you see your kids in action (and their reaction) in a real school. Then, if you need to make a change, cross that bridge when you get to it.

5) School popularity

For some public schools, if you’re not within their boundary, you have a very small chance of getting a spot. For some private schools, you almost have to be an alumnus to get a spot. If you’re pressed for time and could take it or leave it, call the school’s office to ask about admissions statistics before you tour. On the other hand, you may want to visit these in-demand schools to see what the fuss is about. I remember touring a couple schools that were supposedly impossible to get into and feeling like, well their floors aren’t paved with gold and Harvard diplomas after all. Or you may tour one and realize you want to throw everything you have into getting in, such as moving within their boundary or starting to work the admissions process. The sooner you take a tour and know this, the better.

6) Where do your friends’ and neighbors’ kids go

I hesitate to bring this up, because most people think about this anyway, and maybe even overly rely on friends’ opinions about what the “best” schools are. And I really think most people (myself included) feel a natural instinct to defend their choices. Who really wants to say “I haven’t felt right about my kids’ school, but it seems like too much work to move them?” So you can’t totally take what people say about their kids’ schools at face value, especially if they’re not close friends who you can be really real with.

That said, where your child goes to school will play a big part in who her friends are, which extra-curriculars she picks, who you’ll be interacting with at school drop-off, activities, play dates, and fundraisers for the next several years—and even where she goes for middle and high school. If you respect and like certain people, and they’ve chosen a certain school, it’s worth adding to your tour list.

Megan Freedman is a freelance writer and researcher, with a special focus on medical and wellness topics. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband and three children

Miranda’s children, Jayden and Marley

School choice was a foreign language to my husband and me when our oldest child started school. When our daughter started school, we thought she would just go to the school in our neighborhood and that was it: a choice due to convenience.

Our daughter did not enroll in early childhood education (ECE) because I was unaware of the process it took to enroll, and by the time I knew what to do, I was too late to get her into a program. We thought nothing of it because neither of us had ECE growing up. We both started school in kindergarten, so we did not think it would be an issue. But as a new kindergartener, our poor daughter brought home homework, and she was clueless on what to do with it. Every night was a struggle to get it done. We tried different techniques to help her understand but we were having a really hard time. After all, this whole thing was new for us too.

We were later told by her teacher that she thought our daughter might have a learning disability. We were very concerned and rushed to the school to get an intervention plan in place to make learning a little bit easier for her. We were up for anything to help her. So, she started the intervention and it seemed to be going well. We had not heard anything about her progress. We could tell she was starting to understand some of the basics when it came to doing her homework, but we knew it was difficult for her. To our dismay, when we got her report card, we were told we needed to hold her back. We were okay with that but were crushed that we had not been filled in on throughout the process of the intervention.

One day when I was at work, I received a call about a new charter school that was opening in our area with busing and all the tools we would need to switch schools. My husband and I were not familiar with what a charter school was. So, we did some research and learned this would be a great opportunity, and we were thrilled to find that this was an option for us.

From the beginning of our experience with a charter school as an option, we were welcomed into what we like to refer to as the Rocky Mountain Prep (RMP) Family with open arms. Our first interaction with the school was a t-shirt that read “Elevation: Graduation” to thank us for being one of the first families to get our school choice forms in. We also participated in a playdate in the park with future RMP families. We attended orientation and loved the concept of this school and the core values. We were even invited to have lunch with the teachers before school started to express our fears. All of our concerns were addressed.

We decided not to hold our daughter back, and our son started ECE as one of the youngest in the school. I have to say this has been an amazing experience for us, and our kids really care about the education they are getting. Most importantly, our daughter is not ashamed when she struggles. This school has given us tools to help our kids at home, so when they are having issues, we know how to help them. From the beginning we have been informed and welcomed to be a part of their success. Our daughter is far from learning disabled and is actually one of the top readers and writers in her class. When she started, her confidence was not there and she lacked self -esteem. Now two years later, she is persevering and is proud of her accomplishments.

School choice made the opportunity for our kids to attend Rocky Mountain Prep happen. We could not be happier with the experience we are having and we know if we did not have a choice of where our kids attend school we might not be so happy. We know this because we gave another school a chance and the experience was not so pleasant. Having the choice has empowered us as parents to make sure our kids get the best education possible, and we have gotten to be part of it every step of the way.

A few years ago, back when my kids were barely walking and talking, a mom on the playground told me that she’d toured 20 schools to figure out where to send her son to kindergarten. What a type-A turbo mom with too much time on her hands, I probably I thought.

Fast-forward a few years, and I found my own type-A turbo self-slogging through 11 schools tours for kindergarten. Fewer than 20, but still so many. At the time, like any parent, I had a few other things going on. I had a breastfeeding infant in addition to a three- and five-year-old, and I was wading through an intense grad school semester and working part-time. So it wasn’t wildly easy to dig up the time and effort to tour so many kindergartens.

I wouldn’t, however, take back a minute of the time we spent touring schools. For several reasons. First, we have a unique opportunity in our choice system in Denver, and I felt lucky to explore. My friends living around the country don’t have this flexibility to choose. We are also fortunate that Denver has a large variety of schools. The city’s neighborhood schools provide deep connections to the community (and in many cases a conveniently short school commute). Then, dotted around town, you also have charter and innovation schools ranging from expeditionary learning, to environmental change, to foreign language fluency, to gifted education. And they’re all about the same price (i.e, free!). Not to mention the area is also home to a really wonderful range of private schools from more affordable parochial to luxe “day” schools.

At this point, you may be thinking – our neighborhood school is great, so why bother shopping around? And I’d respond – even if every other school you tour outside your neighborhood ends up not being even close to a fit for you and your family, the impressions you gather will cement your decision to go to your neighborhood school. All the school tours I’ve taken have helped remove lots of doubts about fit. Likewise, it helps so much if your family feels at home at your kids’ school, and the context of the alternatives will provide clarity around that.

OR at this point, you may be thinking – I’ve heard the best public schools are impossible to get into, so why would I bother shopping around? And from what I experienced, that’s completely fair. My kids didn’t get any of the schools I listed on my choice forms above our neighborhood school, and very few of my friends’ kids did either. However, one thing that’s also true is, you can’t win if you don’t play. If you’re not fully invested in going to your neighborhood school, you do absolutely have a chance to win the (school choice) lottery.

When talking to parents with older kids, I realize that another reason to shop around is to know your options when life, inevitably, changes. Your perspective on what your child needs (how she learns, what types of peers she jibes with, what type of extra help she needs, etc.) may evolve as she progresses through the grades. You may have more kids (or already have them) who turn out to be far different from their older siblings in terms of the type of school that works for them. You may decide to move a little closer to where you work. You may at first choose private school and find it’s too much of a financial strain. Knowing about a range of school options can set you up for riding changes with a little more insight and ease.  Instead of thinking – we don’t like our current school, but we’re stuck, you might think – we don’t like our current school, but I remember from a tour I took a couple of years ago that that other school offered different options in terms of x, y, and z.

And finally, school tours are a great opportunity to connect with other parents. People I met on tours (along with long-standing friends) gave me invaluable insights and perspectives on the choice of public vs. private school, neighborhood vs. charter school, K-8 vs. K-5, etc. There are parents like you out there who have been in your shoes and can speak from experience, and explain something in terms you understand. They may have inside information from a friend whose kids went to x school, or who just transferred out of y school. And you may only encounter some of those people on school tours.

You don’t need to be type-A turbo-parent and tour 20 schools, or even 10. But three to five school tours will only take up a few hours of your life—and perhaps save you years of being in a school that’s not the right fit for your family.